Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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