I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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