And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
