My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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