Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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