A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
