I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
