First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
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eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
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this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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