there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm at about main and main street
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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