2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
