yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
