Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
