He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
