Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
