you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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