You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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