Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
