so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
