I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
