Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
