I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i need some magic done to my vagina
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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