just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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