It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
