Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
