I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
