i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Who died my cat blue again?
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