He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You pole danced in your parka.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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