Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
