If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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