before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize