just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize