I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Randomize
