But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
