So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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