good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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