Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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