Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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