I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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