The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
