I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
