Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
