pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
