It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
