his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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