You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
