I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
