so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
