YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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