wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
