You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
there's paper in my vomit.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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