My underwear smells like fireworks.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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