she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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