note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
