This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
not ubering you a puppy
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
