Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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