I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
a search helicopter?!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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