Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
