Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
