I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
