I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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