Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
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I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
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Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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