We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
now i know why i became what i already was.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
