I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
