Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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