Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
