She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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