when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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