so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
