Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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