You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
